Hormones imbalance day

im hot today...i really dont know how to handle this kind of situation except crying..i hate the people around me, which i suppose to love them..even if do not love them, atleast treat them like normal. but i just cant! i cant stand it when im the 1 who always been doing the routine work.. i also want to try something new..why would u just think of yourself? so is that mean that i can also be like u? ignore all the routine jobs and just concern about what u want? i can..but i just feel sympathy to my patient. i hate to ask for help twice.. so when i really ask, please do help! if u dont want, its ok..just let me hate u..for atleast a day.. =(

another u, i want my work to be organized! i dont like to take vital signs when the set is not full. i hate to check all BP 1st, after sometime only check temperature! stop ordering me like im your low cost workers! u didnt even pay me a single cent! even a smile also u are not willing to donate.. how should i respect u as a senior? if u want me to do? can u atleast respect and let me do it my way? 

and then got new admission, i can see u very free sit in the room playing computer..why dont u just get your work done 1st? instead of pretending dont know and pretend to ask me have i done checking his vital signs?  then continue to ask me do the admission and orientation..."macam biase je? kan..."...i hate the tone u used!

am i over reacting here? i dont know..actually at this moment i didnt really remember your face pun..you are just a passer by in my life..

i forgive you.

sometimes when people around you dont understand how do u feel, it do really hurts a lot.. when u are trying to keep the feelings all to yourself. when reached the maximum level, really will burst easily.. today i collapsed twice and hide in toilet for some time. i also dont know where the tears come from..stimulated by my hormones...hmmm.....

just two days i already feel the transparent wall between groupmates. i hate it like this. i told him, better less people, atleast all very helpful and friendly.. and now? 10 people in a ward but all attitude like that...better no need! i once thought that it will be fun when we all posting together..

but im obviously wrong!

miss my old ward mates...